Obama's Confidence Game

Our economy is saved! The market is up 300 points! Let the milk and honey flow and private jets once again course the heavens!

Oh, wait a minute. I lost my head there for a moment. We're still in the neighborhood of 6800 for the Dow which means now my investments are down only 40% rather than 42% from last week. A little premature to be popping open the bubbly. Tomorrow the whole fragile victory could disintegrate like spun sugar.

Such is the new reality. One foot in front of another, small victories celebrated cautiously. Followed by the inevitability of some bank toppling or a genius pundit tossing out the "D" word. Can't we just wallow in the recession for a while? Is it necessary to force us into a deeper ditch?

But I'm not ready to give up. Are you with me people? What do we need? Give me a C! Give me an O! Give me a...oh just spell it out all ready--CONFIDENCE! And who's our head cheerleader? BARACK OBAMA HE'S OUR MAN! IF HE CAN'T DO IT...then we're screwed.

Because really, who else is there? The American people are like the frightened townsfolk in “High Noon”. They’re huddled behind saloon doors and post office counters waiting for Gary Cooper to stride out and mow down the bad guys. They’re not looking for Elmer Fudd or Don Knotts. And they don’t want to see Gary Cooper pulling a bag of marbles out of his holster. They want the sheriff to haul out the AK-47 and git ‘er done!

Right now, I think the American people have more confidence in the aim of Simon Cowell than of anyone in Washington.

But why is that? Because apparently at the moment, there is no one attached to the White House that can call the plays and make the pitch like Obama. I mean it’s not even close! And they have tried to run others up the flagpole (think Tim Geithner doing his best deer-in-the-headlights impression during that Congressional hearing) with pretty horrendous results. For better or worse, for the moment, Obama has to play all the positions on the field. But he’s about to throw himself out if he doesn’t watch it.

Yes, his approval numbers are still high. But they should be because of the promises he made last fall. Obama campaigned as a blast of "The Master Cleanser" for the sludge-caked bowels of Washington. The public was tired of back-room deals, broken promises, presidential obfuscation. We needed someone to ride in on the white horse and throw the bums out, promising "Change We Can Believe In!"

Other than what I consider to be negative change—i.e. the trending toward socialism--I’m not sure I see a lot of positive changes, or even the momentum for change. And the things I remember Obama campaigning on that would inspire my confidence in his words--transparency, bipartisanship, an end to government waste and “business as usual”—don’t seem to be panning out either.

Take transparency. I swear I remember our President promising not to hire lobbyists to work in his administration. Yet, there are waivers to his anti-lobbyist requirements being granted behind the scenes for just that purpose. And bipartisanship seems deader than Chris Brown’s endorsement prospects. It was clear from the budget and stimulus bill process that Republicans got the Heisman stiff-arm pretty much the whole way. Let’s face it—a White House tea and cookies reception or Super Bowl party invite do not constitute “Mission Accomplished” for productive bipartisan collaboration.

Here’s the one that really gets me steamed—President Obama’s vigorous and persuasive admonitions that there would be an end to pork barrel spending and government waste. And yet, the 2009 Omnibus Spending Bill sailed through Congress, dragging along 8500 earmarks totaling over $7B in spending on behalf of both parties! It is now sitting on his desk, waiting for signature.

I don’t care what excuses Capitol Hill throws out there to deflect attention away from the President on this one. Do you mean to tell me that Obama could not take a stand and send that bill back for some trimming? At least make a show of living up to his campaign promises? Of course he could! So why won’t he? Politics as usual, knowing that one hand washes the other. I do this for you this time, and you owe me a solid next time.

So my confidence in his abilities to be any different than any other politician is sinking fast. And on top of that, I’m worried about his ability to focus on and prioritize his “To Do” list. Is there any doubt about what needs to happen right now? Put the basketball down and listen to me please. Banks and financial markets need to be stabilized, not through wholesale takeovers, but through temporary government intervention that allows for relief from toxic assets so money can flow again. Because if I can get a loan to buy a house, then I go shopping for furniture to put in it. And that furniture purchase will allow the furniture retailer to keep the doors open. And that will funnel new orders to the furniture manufacturer who can keep his workers employed who will then go out and buy new TVs and DVD players so they can watch old movies like “High Noon” in “High Def”.

But Obama is spreading himself too thin. Like the Health Care Summit—was that necessary at this moment? Other than a lipstick-covered rear end, did Obama reveal any quantifiable result from this? And his pronouncements on Education and Stem Cell funding—all worthy causes, but our kids are still going to school, research is soldiering on and even health care is still available. Each needs attention, but they are not in danger of becoming extinct. Like my 401k.

I know how it is to want to be all things to all people. I have those instincts myself. But if you take on too much and don’t live up to your commitments, people lose faith. And faith (or the lack of it) seems to be trumping facts in the markets these days.

I was watching comedian Jimmy Fallon this morning on TV talking about trying to build an audience and confidence in his abilities as he starts his new late night talk show. He was giving himself 3 months to “figure out” his style, what worked and what did not. I think that’s fair. And I think he’ll succeed. He’s got good people around him, a great house band and a well-established format to work with. No matter what, though, the host has to be able to carry the show.

Like Jimmy Fallon, Obama’s got the established format to step into, but I’m not so sure about the people around him. And I don’t think he can afford the luxury of 3 months to figure out his style. Now if the President would just hire a (White) house band, I would be very confident in his hipness, but he’s still got to be able to live up to his hype and carry the show.

Son of Stimulus: Obama Budget Bills Batter My Brain

I guess we should be getting used to these astronomical price tags coming out of Washington. $700 billion here, $800 billion there, bank bailouts, auto bailouts, pretty soon we’ll be seeing a Suleman Octuplet bailout. Do most Americans have a firm grasp on the who/what/when/why and where-the-hell-the-money’s coming from of this situation? Does anybody really give a rip? Or are people just succumbing to the government’s siren song…“Don’t worry…we’ll take care of you…President Obama is such a good speaker…listen to his soothing voice…” Because if you thought we’d all ready seen some doozies in the previous money grabs, wait til you look a little closer at the $410B 2009 Omnibus Appropriations Bill that the House approved on February 25.

Have you heard much about this Bill? No, I didn’t think so. In fact, the day the Bill made it through the house, another more imperative piece of legislation was highlighted on the network news. HR 80, the Captive Primate Safety Act, aka “Chimps are Chumps”, sailed through Congress as a result of the tragic chimp attack a couple of weeks ago in Stamford, Ct. The Chimp Bill makes sure that no chimp, no matter how cute and commercially marketable, can ever be kept as a pet again. Although the bill was largely “pork free”, there was one last minute amendment allocating $20M for a study entitled “Butterflies in Flight: Thing of Beauty or Ground Zero for Global Warming”. After even President Obama was heard to say, “You guys are kidding, right?” the amendment was removed.

But back to the Omnibus Bill. For those of you who are numb or just too exhausted to even figure out what “Omnibus” means, this $410B Bill is basically a continuation of the existing Fiscal 2009 budget that adds on a few more amendments in an effort to keep the government running until Fiscal 2010 begins on October 1. And thank goodness that President Obama came along when he did because we KNOW that this bill will be clean as a whistle, no more earmarks, no siree! I mean, he made that pledge during his campaign, during his inaugural, during his address to Congress…right?

But wait! I just read an email from Taxpayers for Common Sense that has identified 8500 earmarks totaling $7.7B worth of bacon-wrapped projects that are part of the Omnibus. I guess the folks who attended the President’s Fiscal Responsibility Summit on 2/23 consider this Bill a “mulligan”. Because otherwise how do you explain spending (by both parties!) like this:

1. $190K to update a collection at the Buffalo Bill Historical Center in Cody, Wyoming. Are we sure this is actually a real place? Is it possible that we might be sending money to some sophisticated computer geeks from the University of Wyoming who have set up shop at an old Linens&Things and are planning one humdinger of a kegger?

2. $238K for a Polynesian Voyaging Society in Hawaii. Listen, if that’s all it takes, my friends and I could put together a French Wine Country Inspection and Appreciation Society in about 5 minutes for a fraction of the cost.

3. $950K for the Myrtle Beach, SC Trade and Convention Center. Now I am a big fan of Myrtle Beach, but this is just obviously an excuse to give the Hells Angels a hangout for their semi-monthly conventions on the Grand Strand.

4. $300K for a Montana World Trade Center. I think the people who wrote the bill heard this one wrong. I’m pretty sure the sponsors meant $300K to build "Hannah Montana World"—that would be WAY more believable.

Need I say more? Now that I think about it, the President made a pointed remark in his address to Congress the other night about earmarks in the budget. He said something about making sure that the 2010 budget was clean of any pork, but made no mention of holding this same standard to the budget for 2009. Hmmmm. Crafty, Mr. President. Now you’re thinking like a pol!

And when Nancy Pelosi was asked about the Omnibus Bill laden with 8,500 pieces of pork, she responded that the bill was “unfinished business of last year when (President Bush) refused to address the priorities of the country.” (How DARE George Bush ignore the Polynesian Voyaging Society!) I only wish the follow up question had been “Speaker Pelosi…ever heard of a Sharpie?”

This incredible hypocrisy on the part of politicians makes me so angry; I almost want to rip up my unemployment check in protest. But let’s not get too crazy here. I need to cut my losses and move on, because the next body blow is all ready on the way…

The $3.5 T (for Trillion!) 2010 budget which will leave us with a $1.75 T (for “Too-bad-for-our-grandkids!) deficit. I am not going to even pretend to be able to dissect this one, but based on the spending habits we’ve witnessed so far, I am not optimistic. But there’s definitely something for everyone: Healthcare! (More) Bank Bailouts! Middle Class Tax Cuts! Global Warming Programs! Middle East Wars!

And we know who will be paying for this and upon whose backs Obama plans to bring down the deficit—that’s right! The “rich” people making $250,000 or more. Has anyone ever examined how far $250,000 really goes for a family these days? Let’s take a family living in the Northeast or out in California. It really just keeps the roof over the head, food on the table, a vacation or two a year and maybe some savings toward college and retirement. Now $250,000 in Arkansas or South Dakota—you might be living large and good for you! Couldn’t we all just pay 15% and call it a day? Isn’t that fair?

Wherever you live, I think there’s a new strategy for staying in the “middle class”. Anyone who is about to become “rich” should make a concerted effort to make sure they’re making $249,999. When it comes time for that raise or bonus, just say no! Or just do a mediocre job for your employer—you don’t want to incur a promotion! You’ll actually come out AHEAD financially staying right where you are!

I know I sound cynical. And I am not opposed to spending money for the greater good. But I say to Congress, be honest about it. If you say you’re going to clean it up, keep it clean and spend it wisely. Having government running anything usually means going around your posterior to get to your elbow. Stimulate—don’t stifle--private investment. Reward ­everyone who has worked hard and achieved. And if you ask me to sacrifice, don’t forget, you may have to step away from that plump, juicy, constituent-pleasing, lobbyist-rewarding pork roast.

Who’s with me? Are you riled up or still in a stupor on the La-Z-Boy? Can we raise our voices and demand accountability? Or at least shout out a rousing “Sue-EEEEEE!” in protest? Don’t get me wrong, I love me some pork, but I prefer it nice and crispy next to my pancakes—not fueling the narcissism and re-election dreams of the US House and Senate.